You’re sitting in Chipotle, unwrapping your burrito and just as you’re about to devour it, your phone dies. What do you do? Do you have a book or magazine with you to read? Or are you sitting there astounded and frustrated that you have absolutely nothing to occupy your time as you’re tasting every single morsel of your burrito?
Chipotle will help you end your frustration by presenting decorated cups with a two minute essay by authors such as Toni Morrison, Malcolm Gladwell, Sarah Silverman, Michael Lewis, Bill Hader, Judd Apatow, George Saunders, Steven Pinker, Sheri Fink and Jonathan Safran Foer.
This was all started by the curator of the Cultivating Thoughts Author Series, Jonathan Safran Foer. Foer was munching on his meal in Chipotle and like you he was frustrated that he didn’t have anything to read.
According to a Vanity Fair article, Foer wrote an email to Steve Ells, Chipotle’s CEO (they met six or seven years ago):
“I said, ‘I bet a shitload of people go into your restaurants every day, and I bet some of them have very similar experiences, and even if they didn’t have that negative experience, they could have a positive experience if they had access to some kind of interesting text,’” Foer recalled. “And unlike McDonald’s, it’s not like they’re selling their surfaces to the highest bidder. They had nothing on their bags. So I said, ‘Wouldn’t it be cool to just put some interesting stuff on it? Get really high-quality writers of different kinds, creating texts of different kinds that you just give to your customers as a service.’”
The cups won’t be the only items with a new design and an essay. The bags of chips will also keep you entertained. On the front, you will find memorable quotes from the same authors involved in this project on the front of the bags and on the back of it will be the essay.
Below are two sample essays that you will find on the cups and bags. You can read the rest of them here.
TWO-MINUTE RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT FOUNTAIN DRINK
by BILL HADER
This is a concoction that my sisters and I have been making since we were kids. We measured each ingredient (soda flavor) by tapping the beat of a song on the soda dispenser. For instance, “Row row row your boat” (5 beats on the soda dispenser) is about a 1/2 cup. We got it down to a science, and now you and your sisters can too!
(Where necessary I’ve included the writers of the songs for posterity and, in my own way, to give thanks; I guess you could say I consider them co-chefs!)
We got it down to a science, and now you and your sisters can too!
Here’s how it goes: 1 “Row Row Row Your Boat” of Coke • 1 “Shave and a Hair Cut” of grape soda • 1 “G.L.O.R.I.A. Glooooorrrria.” of Mello Yello • 1 “Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! (“Jeremy”, Pearl Jam) of ginger ale • 3 “Thank you Japan! Good Night!” (The Carpenters: Live in Japan) of Diet Coke • 1 drum solo from “YYZ” (Rush) of Sprite • 1 oboe solo from “Flight of 200 Bumblebees” (Impossible Oboe Tunes) of lemonade • 1 “Stevie, What Were You Doing in Mick’s Room?” (Fleetwood Mac: The Making of Rumours) of Fanta • 2,000,000 “Hey!” (any Arcade Fire song) of root beer • 1 light splash of Dasani
If your cup is overflowing at this point, you’ve done something wrong and must start over. If you’re able to follow rules, then enjoy a Hader family tradition!!!
TWO MINUTES OF RAMBLING WISDOM
by JUDD APATOW
When I was in high school there were 500 people in my graduating class. Out of those 500 people I had two best friends and five other real friends. So I had a true connection with seven people and did not have a true connection with 493 people. Now I create stories and hope that 500 out of 500 people will appreciate the work. That is impossible. I don’t love most things I see or listen to, why should they? The truth is I should be happy with seven people being touched or amused by my work. I think it is okay to accept the fact that most people won’t get you. We don’t need to like each other so much. We need to be kind and respect each other.
Don’t be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people.
Every day I live by only one rule, be a good guy. I am proud of the fact that for the most part I have tried to make the world a better place in small and large ways. I am even more proud of the fact that for the most part I have not ruined the world. I haven’t committed any acts of extreme violence. I don’t litter. I don’t hunt endangered species for sport. I support politicians who appear to want to make the lives of the less fortunate better and who are concerned about our environment. Most of them still make it worse a fair amount of the time, but they are giving it their best shot. I think that is all we can do–give it our best shot. Don’t be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people. Being cool to the other 493 people is a great thing to do because you want those same 493 people to not give you a hard time when you run into them while ordering your burrito at Chipotle or on an airplane or during an international conflict or just a potential road rage incident. Life will be better for all of us if we want all 500 to be happy.